A decaying relic, kept in a mockery of life by foul alchemy and a perpetual state of rage born of ancient esoteric grudges? Oh, he’ll do just fine in these parts. Recommended listening: More regional ghosts.

(excerpts from Van Nielsen’s Field Notes on Prime-Time Draculas) Rollin Handula: Master of disguise, strong affinity towards the moon. Daughter also a vampire of minor reknown. Won an Oscar for his poignant portrayal of another elderly ailing Dracula. Swanula: Do not be fooled by the diminutive stature!!! Has made multiple demonic pacts with terrifying entities […]

“The Nice Price” was a late 1970s branding initiative by CBS Records, where perennial backcatalog faves got badged and repriced as midbudget offerings. Nearly all of my old Clash tapes and CDs sported the sticker when I bought them. The copy of Combat Rock that Maura scored for me somewhere still has its one on […]

Poor misbegotten creature. He only crawled out of his lair to catch a Guided By Voices show and maybe hit up that new barcade down the block for some craft brews and Ms. Pac-Man. Little did he realize that he would be attacked by a mob who thought Monster was the best R.E.M. album, and […]

AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *hic* AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ARF! Recommended listening: You were expecting that Warren Zevon track, right? Sorry.

“Y’know, kids, the blood is the life…and it shall be mine!” Recommended listening:

And before you jump into the comments and ask, Johnny Cash is canonically a vampire.

(being an excerpt from my forthcoming bestselling novel and big budget movie adaptation) When it came to my research, I didn’t take any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I’d worked my way down the entire recommended reading list. Danielle Steel, V.C. Andrews, John Jakes, Robert Ludlum, Herman Wouk, James Clavell. Michner. Krantz. Forsyth. L’Amour. […]

Today we’re going to turn the spotlight on one of the lesser known series of men’s adventure novels published during the Me Decade… A total of sixteen Electric Warrior novels starring the “glitter assassin” Bolan were released between 1971 and the series’ abrupt conclusion in September 1977. Here are some choice excerpts from the various […]