Today we’re going to turn the spotlight on one of the lesser known series of men’s adventure novels published during the Me Decade…

A total of sixteen Electric Warrior novels starring the “glitter assassin” Bolan were released between 1971 and the series’ abrupt conclusion in September 1977. Here are some choice excerpts from the various books:

Once there was a man of peace named ‘Toby Tyler’ who lived a quiet life of contentment with a girl named Desdemona. When she died on that terrible and bloody night three years past, so did Tyler…only to be reborn as glittering avenger with the soul of a prehistoric predator. – from Volume 1, An Electric Warrior Is Born

***

A quick blast from Bolan’s 12 gauge “Slider” blew open the contol room door. The Thin White Duke was long gone, leaving only a tape recorded message in his wake:
“Sorry, I couldn’t be there to meet you in person, old chum, but other matters beckoned. I’m sure you’ve already figured out that the Jean Genie and her Diamond Dogs were merely catspaws in a grander scheme. I’d ask you to join me, but I already know what the answer will be. A shame, really. Look at yourself, you’ve think you’ve got it made, but I think you will soon find the taste is not so sweet. Adapt and survive is the only wise policy, my anachronistic friend. Toodles!” – from Volume 4, Here Comes the Night of Death

***

Emerson slammed his fists down on the Destructo-Moog’s keyboard. Lethal waves of sound blasted from the ultraphonic sound system. Bolan staggered from the sonic onslaught but did not collapse.

“Give it up, Bolan! Embrace the future…and your death!” Bolan responded to the virtuoso’s taunts with a flick of his feather boa. The weighted cord inside coiled around Emerson’s neck, constricting his windpipe. Emerson was as good as dead, but Bolan wasn’t taking any chances. A quick tug, the snap of a broken neck, and the deed was done.

“Your mistake, Keith, was trying to fool a child of the revolution.” – from Volume 7, King of the Rumbling Prog

***

“I got the feeling a hard rain is going to fall, pal. We’d better stick together.” Ferry smirked as he wiped the late Virginia Plain’s blood off his hands with a rag. Bolan wasn’t sure what to make of man. His skills were unquestionable and his assistance on this mission was invaluable, but something about the Man from R.O.X.Y. rubbed him the long way. Eno may have vouched for him, but Ferry dressed too slick and acted too posh for Bolan’s comfort. And then there was the man’s inexplicably grating accent… – from Volume 13, Ladytron Killer

***

Bolan didn’t know which was worse — the pain of his shattered body or the fact that he had fallen into such an obvious trap.

“Don’t expect the Captain or his band of foulmouthed louts to help you. They’re too busy hanging out with the Jesus of Cool.” The Duke reached through the twisted remains of the passenger side window and grabbed a fistful of Bolan’s majestic curls. “That’s the problem with being a hero, Marc. It rarely lasts for more than just one day.”

The Duke’s skeletal henchman produced a pistol. “What shall we do with this poor, injured passenger, boss?”

The Duke paused for the briefest of moments. “You know the drill, Wild Child. Wham bam thank you ma’am.” – from Volume 16, Rosegarden Funeral for a Metal Guru

One of the more baffling aspects of fan behavior is the tendency to suspend qualitative judgement when it comes to fan’s objects of affection. Past experience, empirical evidence, and ominous portents get shoved to the margins when certain Pavlovian buttons are pushed. There will be plenty of post-situ moaning and whining about getting burned, but there is little hesitation about leaping into the fire in the first place.

So it was with Teen Andrew and TransBot. As I mentioned a few days ago, I used to be a pretty fervent fan of anime, especially the giant/real robo stuff. The popularity of the Transformers and Robotech franchises meant the toy and hobby stores of the mid-1980’s were well-stocked with all manner of shady (and shoddy) bootleg mecha-merchandise intended to siphon off a sweet slice of the market share.

The phenomenon wasn’t limited to just toys and models. Videogames also cashed in on the trend, though this was wasn’t so much cynical marketing as the simple realities of the gaming industry at the time. American game developers were either still struggling from the industry-wide crash of a few years prior or had moved into the realm of computer gaming. Arcade and console fare was dominated by Japanese imports reflecting Japanese popcult trends. That robo-jockey stuff was big in America at the time didn’t hurt, either.

That’s not to say that cynical manipulation didn’t factor into the equation, as the name “TransBot” suggests a deliberate attempt to piggy-back on the name recognition of a couple of hot properties:

In practice, the formula comes closer to this:

While the official screenshots and gameplay footage suggested epic battles against faux-Zentraedi battle pods…

…the game is actually a very dumbed-down rip-off of Konami’s Gradius. The player must blast through waves of uninspired enemies — spiked balls, tumbling cube ships, and hamburgesian flying saucers — across a horizontally-scrolling generically “sci-fi” landscape. Shooting the transport trucks that occasionally roll across the bottom of the screen gives the player access to power ups, which improve weapon strength or transform the player’s ship into an unmissable target a rather goofy-looking robot.

In order to compensate for the utter shallowness of the gameplay, the developers decided to spice things up a little by tossing in the much loved gimmick of arbitrary and artificial difficulty. Unlike Gradius (or even Action Fighter), where sequenced power ups add a strategic element to play, TransBot uses a roulette-based system of determining upgrades. Nabbing a power up sphere causes an icon to rapidly cycle through an alphabetical sequence of potential rewards, leaving it up to the player’s reflexes and blind chance to determine the end result.

If this wasn’t irritating in itself, the fact that the power ups have only a limited number of uses and the boss level can only be reached by use of a specific upgrade in a specific location makes the game a nigh-unbearable exercise in frustration.

That didn’t stop me from wasting a few score hours of my life playing and attempting to beat the game.

Why? Because it had giant robots in it!

Duh.