Poor misbegotten creature. He only crawled out of his lair to catch a Guided By Voices show and maybe hit up that new barcade down the block for some craft brews and Ms. Pac-Man. Little did he realize that he would be attacked by a mob who thought Monster was the best R.E.M. album, and […]

For Robert Scott Carey, this was the most terrifying day of his life. But for me, it was just another Tuesday.

Gosh, I hate when I’m forced to spend the night in an old dark house and a decorative skull (which just happens to be in the room) falls on top of a small animal (which also just happens to be in the room), which then proceeds to strut and squawk around where only I can […]

The Legend of Hell House was a lurid, trashy rehash of The Haunting aimed at the jaded audiences of the early Seventies, but its sense of dread-heavy atmosphere is a thing of hair-raising wonder. That’s the reason why it has become a spooky season staple for me, despite the foreknowledge that I will be rolling […]

Bad enough to be cast into the infernal pit without having to listen to “Babe” for all eternity. Recommended listening:

If you don’t associate catsup with utter horror, try telling someone from the Chicago area that you like to put it on hot dogs and see how they react. Recommended listening:

Though poor Chuck Cunningham was offered up as a sacrifice to appease the vengeful spirit, its baleful curse would pursue the gang across several more seasons, inflicting the most odious manner of manifestations — first Spike, then Chachi, and finally the grim herald of the sitcom End Times himself under the guise of “Roger Phillips.” […]

I’ve heard of “dying onstage,” but this is a bit much. (Hey, I’m a dad now. I’m allowed to make these kinds of jokes.) Recommended listening:

Man, this Special Old Ones Cut of Summer School is really weird. Recommended listening:

AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *hic* AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ARF! Recommended listening: You were expecting that Warren Zevon track, right? Sorry.