{"id":16596,"date":"2026-10-23T11:58:13","date_gmt":"2026-10-23T15:58:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/?p=16596"},"modified":"2026-10-23T12:00:12","modified_gmt":"2026-10-23T16:00:12","slug":"halloween-countdown-day-23-sweep-the-foyer-of-dracula","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/?p=16596","title":{"rendered":"Halloween Countdown: Day 23 \u2013 Sweep the foyer of Dracula"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/img\/261023\/1023.jpg\" width=\"590\" height=\"349\" title=\"When it happens three times in a single work week, one tends to get a bit jaded.\" class=\"alignnone size-full\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>NOW HIRING:<\/strong> Our organization is looking for lazy shiftless menials who are awful at their jobs.  Sneaky day-drinking and taking naps during work hours are a plus. Must be able to visually conform to thematically appropriate caricatures while maintaining proper vaudeville or music hall standards. <\/p>\n<p>Duties will require remaining oblivious about some nearby horror (e.g. a corpse, supernatural entity, and\/or rogue gorilla) until the moment of maximum comedic impact.  Candidates will be assessed on the ability to bulge their eyes out, do a spit take, exaggeratedly wheel their arms and holler &#8220;A G-G-G-G-G-GHOST!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Generous benefits package, including vision and dental coverage. Serious inquiries only.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Recommended listening:<\/strong> If you cut a rug, does it not bleed?<\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/b5o9Az4zC6k?si=ud7CaWElufnehWCK\" title=\"YouTube video player\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NOW HIRING: Our organization is looking for lazy shiftless menials who are awful at their jobs. Sneaky day-drinking and taking naps during work hours are a plus. Must be able to visually conform to thematically appropriate caricatures while maintaining proper vaudeville or music hall standards. Duties will require remaining oblivious about some nearby horror (e.g. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[994,668,15],"tags":[2888,178],"class_list":["post-16596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dadaism","category-halloween-countdown","category-music","tag-swing-it-daddy-o","tag-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16596"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16596\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16599,"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16596\/revisions\/16599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/armagideon-time.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}