Armagideon Time

Get me my stuff

January 20th, 2015

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Indiana Jones represented a masculine ideal for so many boys of my generation. Intellectual yet rugged, tadalafil roguish yet not a cad, buy he served as a more relatable counterpoint to the ‘roided up Reagan Era ubermechen who massacred their way across the silver screen.

The appeal of the character was reflected by his wardrobe, a lived-in and retro-leaning ensemble whose signature fedora has taken on an unfortunately decontextualized life of its own (thanks to mouth-breathing manchildren prone to blaming a “feminist conspiracy” — instead of their own dubious personal and hygiene habits — for their inability to get laid).

That unpleasant association aside, plenty of non-MRA geeky guys have at some point attempted to emulate bits of Dr. Jones’s style. And since fandom is a consumption-based movement at its core, there were enterprising opportunists willing to capitalize on that sentiment.

Because what says “Indiana Jones” like a digital watch, an off-brand Walkman, a baseball cap with attached sunglasses (look close enough and you can see where the “EMF 1990 North American Tour” decal was peeled off), and a FUCKING FANNY PACK BEARING THE CHARACTER’S NAME.

Add some baggy Bermuda shorts and a pair of Chuck Taylors, the aspiring adventurer would be all set to take on the spine-chilling perils of the Wizard World dealers’ room.

3 Responses to “Get me my stuff”

  1. Prankster

    The fanny pack was where he kept the sand for switching out the idol, natch.

  2. Bully

    Milhouse: I’m Radioactive Man!
    Lisa: I doubt Radioactive Man wears a plastic smock with a picture of himself on it.
    Milhouse: On Halloween he would!

  3. GE

    Even as a kid, I was wary of the dubious implicit claim that shoddy merchandise with a beloved character’s name and image on it was what said beloved character would actually wear.

    Later on, it dawned on me that those stupid smock outfits were like cue cards for adults on Halloween, so they would know that the little freckled ginger scowling at them and shaking a fist was … [looks at picture on smock and reads the block-lettered logo] … oh, such an adorable little Incredible Hulk! I think the newest crop of parental generation is (maybe a bit too) aware of all the latest popular characters to need the assistance.

    As a little kid, I only ever had one “smock” costume, which of course I never, ever wore on Halloween, and only got for the mask: a damn passable Chewbacca mask which I would carry around when I played werewolf, and put on during my “transformation.”

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